How Strange?

And then I awoke into a world of peculiar things,
Where cherubs wearing leather jackets taunted graceful old kings.
The inspector of taxes couldn't give away his cash,
As the drug dealers on the corner paid you for smoking their hash.

(Which was rather good. How strange.)

Burglars broke into houses using the key from under the mat,
And would promptly wash up the dishes, feed the dog and the cat.
Then they would cook your supper, wash and iron your clothes,
Feed and change the baby and then wipe its snotty little nose.

The fish in the sea were all eating chips,
And when tired of swimming would hitch rides on ocean bound ships.
The octopuses that were bored of being under the sea,
Would stroll along the pier taking afternoon tea.

(They were rather fond of cream cakes you see. How Strange.)

Carts full of horses were pulled by farmer's sons,
And foxes wearing red coats hunted gentry with great big guns.
The apple on the tree had a big smile upon his face,
Because the pear, who was feeling fruity, had invited him over to her place.

And in the morning on my doorstep I found a cow instead of milk,
With instructions for milking pinned to its tail written in silk.
And as the vicar snorted cocaine from the belly button of an old prostitute,
The judge danced naked past my house playing an old tin whistle flute.

(Awfully shocking but 'twas a cheerful tune. How strange.)

Traffic wardens would help you find somewhere to park for free,
And would put a lottery ticket under your wipers while chuckling with glee.
However the car's usually disappeared because of the louts from the estate,
But were always returned cleaned and refuelled for a rather reasonable rate.

The birds in the sky migrated south in private jet planes,
Drinking champagne by the crate load and playing silly games.
And when they touched down in that warm sunny land,
Would head straight for the beach to start a calypso band.

(Which was rather funky and had a good beat. How Strange! )

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